


After

by TheSigyn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSigyn/pseuds/TheSigyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you all right?” Spike asked.<br/>“Perfectly normal,” Buffy said. “Spell’s all gone.”<br/>“That wasn’t what I meant,” he said. “I meant... after what it made you.... After.”<br/>Buffy and Spike talk just after the events of the episode Him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After

  
    “You didn’t come in for the ceremonial burning of the enchanted letter jacket,” Buffy said.

    Spike was sitting on her front porch, looking out into the night. “I needed some quiet,” he said.

    He had one leg up higher on the steps and was leaning his head against his hand. It looked as if he was trying to push something out of his skull, but it also looked like a pose he was very accustomed to. “Is that all it was?” Buffy asked. She sat down too, far away, on the other side of the steps.

    “No,” he said, but he didn’t elaborate. Buffy figured it was probably better if he didn’t. A moment passed, and he looked at her. “Are you all right?”

    “Perfectly normal,” she said. “Spell’s all gone.”

    “That wasn’t what I meant,” he said. “He was.... You were...  I meant... after what it made you.... After.”

    It was a little disjointed – his head was still tangled – but she realized what he meant. The spell was a mind rape as profound as any other. He’d heard about what she was doing to RJ in the empty classroom. Spike didn’t know how far it had gone... Buffy wasn’t even sure herself. It was a little foggy, and she didn’t want to think that it had gone very far. She’d slept with four men in her time, one of which she regretted, but it wasn’t a rape. The others had all been – if not pure – at least real relationships. This would have been... something else. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said lightly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

    Spike put his hand down and gazed at her. God, his eyes held weight now. She wasn’t sure if it was the soul, or the pain, or the madness. Then she realized what he was feeling. Buffy had, through a spell, almost been.... “Well,” she amended. “I do feel a little violated.”

    It was his perfect stillness that cracked her shell. As somehow, he always could. “Okay. A lot violated,” she admitted quietly. “I just don’t want to admit it.”

    He stared at her for a long moment. “You just did.”

    Buffy looked down. “Yeah,” she whispered. “But you’re you.” She felt flustered for a moment, awkward. She stood up. “Thank you for tonight,” she said. “For helping.”

    He shook his head. “No need.”

    “No. You stopped me. I needed someone to.”

    He seemed completely frozen, staring into the black pit of the night, his jaw tense. Too much.

    She placed her hand on his shoulder for a moment. “I’m glad you’re back, Spike,” she said. It was the first time she’d said that. He didn’t respond.

    She let go his shoulder and went inside.

    Slowly, Spike raised his hand and took hold of his shoulder, as if holding the touch there. His head sank down to his elbow. His shoulders shook a few times, but if he was sobbing, he was perfectly silent. 


End file.
